Movin' on...

So, just when things are finally settling down and our family is beginning to find its sense of normalcy, we have decided to shake things up (it seems to be our style...). We are headed for a new adventure once summer comes:


Colt recently accepted a position with the Bureau of Land Management as the Interagency Fire Management Officer for an extensive area in northwestern Colorado. He starts May 22nd, which means we are now in a mad dash to sell our house and find a new home as well, as well as deal with all the emotions of saying good-bye to a home and community we have loved.

We thought long and hard about this move, especially since our girls are really doing so well here in Price. The community has been so open and supportive of our family and we have some terrific friends that are going to leave gaping holes in our hearts when we have to leave.

Tsegereda Rosalie loves school and has some very dear friends that she doesn't want to leave, which makes pulling her away all the harder. She doesn't want to go, and we wouldn't uproot her except...well...we truly believe this is the move we are supposed to make. It will place us smack dab in the middle of both grandparents and will allow the girls to actually get to know my side of our family. It is a wonderful opportunity for Colt and he is ready for the challenge of moving to a new agency and overseeing an incredibly diverse and extensive environment. Although it will be hard tearing her away, we have known that a move was in our future and we truly believe that it will be easier to do it now, while the children are still younger, than when they have entered the teenage years...

While gnawing over this move, I felt that it just might actually help the girls more wholly attach to us. They will see that when we move, no one will get left behind (as has been done to them before). They will see that we will do everything as a family--it will be new changes for ALL of us, not just them. We will start new memories all together, moving in to a home and community where we are all the newcomers together. They will hopefully see that just as their move from Ethiopia to America brought them blessings, so will this move. Moving starts with sad "good-bye's" but it ends with "hello's." We are praying that this move will be a positive one for all of us.

Rodas keeps asking if certain things will be going with us ("that picture, Mommy?" "this doll?") so I know that she is thinking about it, but she doesn't seem as concerned. Time will tell.

Wyatt is excited, but sad to leave his good buddies. As he remembers the last move, he feels like "the expert" in moving and is trying to help the others feel better about the change. This is the home that Noah remembers the most, having moved from Eden when he was just a toddler, so he is a bit more reticent to leave. I have no doubt that he will be fine though as he truly thrives on a bit of chaos.

I am going to miss my dear friends, some of whom I have seem to found only just recently. You'd think I'd be good at saying good-bye by now...but it is something I hope I never get used to. Every time we leave I seem to leave a part of me behind, and take a part of where I left with me. I guess I'm just carrying around a lot of baggage, but, on the flip-side, I'm also sprinkled across the West...

Having lived in wolf-hating Salmon and rural Utah, after a quick visit to Craig to look at homes, I've realized that once again, I will probably have to be a closet recycler and keep my organic tendencies on the down-low... (-:

You are NOT a Good MOM, Part II

One year ago this month, this was the only way I could show love to my new little girl. Now I am blessed to be able to hug her every day. I can't forget that...



I awakened this morning at 5:30 to the pitter patter of tiny feet running to the bathroom. I peeked in to find her perched on the toilet. Wary that it was already too late, I was pleasantly surprised to find that she had woken up and made it on time. That rarely happens when she doesn't empty her bowels before bed, so I'm truly thanking my guardian mommy angels!

I sent her back to bed and she slept until 7:00 (another miracle). When she was up for good, I asked her if she wanted me to be Good Mom or Bad Mom. She mumbled something that sounded like Good Mom, and when asked to speak up she wouldn't. I asked her if she liked how I acted yesterday and she shook her head "no." I asked her again who she wanted me to be and she very quietly but more clearly stated "Good Mom." I gave her a hug and she proceeded to say "ow" and cry, acting as though her lip had been hurt badly by my shoulder. I knew she was not hurt but was trying to find an outlet for her anger at having had to ask for Good Mom back. She often does this--making a tiny touch or brush of skin seem like someone was intentionally causing her mortal harm. She usually does it to try to turn the emotional tables on you. I set her down and told her that I loved her, I was sorry she hurt her lip on my shoulder when I hugged her, and that I would continue to work to be a Good Mom to her. BUT, I also said to her, YOU need to also continue to work to be a Good Daughter. Love and Family are not one-way streets.

So far the day has gone pretty well. She's now waking from a loooooooong nap to recoup from yesterday, and I'm blogged out. I hope that she learned something from this...I know that I have. I also know that motherhood is seriously the toughest job I'll ever love.
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You are NOT a Good Mom!

"You are NOT a good Mom!"

Rodas Reyne quietly but firmly stated this after a discussion she did not like (about why Mom asks her to use the toilet even when she doesn't think she has to go...). As I pulled her out of her car seat, I had commented that I don't do these things just to be mean but because I care about her. I told her that even though she might not see it, I try to be a pretty good Mom...to which she pulled away from me, gave me her half shrug with a quick shake of the head, and quietly but angrily disagreed.

We had actually had a good morning leading up to that, having spent two hours helping Noah's Kindergarten class paint like Paul Klee. She had been excellent the whole time, but had become distraught when she spilled some of her pretzels on the floor and I asked her to pick them up and throw them away. There were more pretzels in her bag, so it wasn't just a matter of her snack disappearing. She simply didn't want to throw them away. I think that started it. We had to hurry home to get her dressed for dance class, and on the way home I mentioned that she needed to use the toilet and then get dressed as quickly as she could so we wouldn't be late. We had time, but the girl can seriously be as slow as molasses. She usually doesn't balk about going "shinten" or pee, but she can get ornery about bowel movements, or "kaka" (it means the same whether your talking spanish or tigrynia!). Without going into further detail, let's just say that it is very important to get her bottom on a toilet regularly, so this isn't a negotiable issue. Reynie--like most three-year-olds--doesn't like non-negotiable issues.

Hence the attitude out of the car and the "bad Mom" statement.

But, instead of being the perfect mother that everyone else seems to be but I keep failing at becoming, I picked her up, plopped her down on the floor inside the house, and I regressed to three years old. I wailed about how much this "bad mother" did for her, how I flew half-way across the world for her, how I sang to her, played games and dolls with her, combed and took care of her hair (NOT EASY!), filled her closet, gave her baths, dealt with her exasperating food issues, repeatedly cleaned poop out of her pajamas or pee off of the floor...how I loved her and would not leave her!!

She sat crying and, after my tantrum, I realized that I'd blown it once again and was actually proving her point that I was, in fact, a bad Mom. My tolerance with Rodas and Noah has been spread thin lately and when Colt is gone (going on week two...) I get exhausted from trying to not let them get to me. I counted to ten...maybe 20...then decided to prove her right. I would become Bad Mom. For the whole day. I told her she had five minutes to get changed if she wanted to go to dance. She could go to the bathroom or not, but if she had an accident at dance (the teacher asked specifically that they not have to use the restroom during class) then no more dance. I explained to her that, since she seemed to think I was a bad Mom, then that is what I would be to her for the rest of the day. I would continue to be the good Mom that I strive to be for Rosalie, Wyatt and Noah, but would treat her as a bad Mom would. I told her a bad Mom probably wouldn't care if she went to dance or not, so if she wasn't ready when we had to leave then no dance. No reminders or help.

She didn't make it to dance.

Trying to act like nothing had happened, she flitted behind me the rest of the morning asking what we were going to do. I told her that I was going to do some laundry then work on the computer; she could entertain herself. I did just that. She followed me around and asked if I'd play a game with her and I said, "No, I don't want to." She didn't quite know what to do with that answer (it's usually, "Yes, just let me finish this first."). She wandered in while I was on the computer and asked what next. I told her I was going to fix myself some lunch, and she asked what she was having. I said, "I dunno, you can go fix yourself something." She laughed and said, "Nooooooo, YOU fix me lunch!" I looked soberly at her and said that a good Mom would fix her daughter a healthy lunch, but that I was not being that today so she could either get her own lunch or take what I put on her plate whenever I chose to do so. She didn't find that so funny.

I gave her two pieces of bread for lunch, after I made my own lunch, and although I knew she'd like it I also knew she would want more. I couldn't put anything else on her plate because it would either be healthy and take effort or take no effort and be unhealthy (which she'd probably love), so I settled for in-between.

After lunch, "Good Mom" usually reads her books then puts her down for a nap. When she asked about nap I said, "A good mom wants you to be healthy and get the sleep you need, but today I am not that so I don't care, take one if you want." Happily she said she didn't want a nap and continued to follow me around. Back to the computer we went, and after an hour she started to get the idea that I was not going to suddenly snap out of this funk and start to play. She worked very hard to try to have fun all by herself or make me think she was having lots of fun by herself. She actually does pretty well with independent play, especially given that she has probably never had to play by herself until she came to our family, but she would rather play with someone.

She was saved when 3:30 rolled about and the boys came home from school. They arrived with a flurry of activity, clamoring to tell me who did what to whom and who threw up in what trash can (seriously). They washed their hands and sat down to a healthy snack of grapes and crackers. I usually give Rodas the special crackers that she likes with no fruit (though it is always offered)...but not today. She got what the boys got and she was not amused. She had run to the table as soon as the plate was set down, then when she saw what it was she put her nose in the air and declared that she wasn't hungry and walked off. It was truly difficult not to laugh at the act.

After picking up Tse from dance class, I explained to all the other kids, within earshot of Rodas, what had happened with her earlier that day and that, for today, I was being the Bad Mom to her that Rodas seemed to think I was. We discussed attributes of Good Moms versus Bad Moms (loving us, helping us eat well, giving us baths, playing and talking with us, not hitting us, helping us get the sleep we need, etc.) hopefully reinforcing to Rodas why I was doing what I was doing.

Dinner came and I served spaghetti. I usually put oil and berbere on the girls' pasta instead of our spaghetti sauce, but tonight I only did it for Tse. Rodas asked for it and I said "no" because it is extra work that I'm choosing not to do for her. She said nothing more and gobbled up two servings of plain noodles (something she has pushed away a number of times before).

When it was bath time, I announced that the boys needed to get in the shower and I would be giving Tse a bath. When Tse was done, Rodas asked if she needed a bath. I said "yes" but that I wasn't going to give her one. Baths are a lot of work for Mom, especially combing out her hair, and I just didn't want to do it. A good Mom would do it because she knew her daughter needed it...but I was not being a Good Mom to Rodas today. She began to flounder a bit and let her act slip a little, for the first time all day. As all the kids began getting ready for bed, she just wandered around aimlessly. A hot water heater crisis provided a bit of excitement and interruption, but our friend and neighbor, Mr. A, came to our rescue and abated potential catastrophe (I'm so paranoid about the septic tank backing up that I'm almost relieved it's just the water heater!).

With the failed water heater turned off and draining, I set about reading to Wyatt and Tse and tucking them in (Noah was already in bed). I told Rodas she could do what she wanted and the only thing I requested was that she put on her pull-up. She wandered about holding her pull-up, and clearly wanted direction about what to do. It suddenly became tough, really tough, this Bad Mom business. I wanted to guide her to bed, doing all the nightly ritual things we always do, leaving her to drift off with happy dreams. But I also wanted this lesson to sink in and I still wasn't sure it had. She hovered in the hallway, obviously lost in what to do, and her sweet brother Wyatt suggested gently that she go to bed. I found her there ten minutes later, dressed in her pj's with pull-ups on (whew, because she DID NOT use the toilet before bed) sound asleep. Although I'm dreading what accident might be waiting for me in the middle of the night with a pent-up bladder and bowels, I am grateful this part is over.

What started out as an easy job of being a Bad Mom became achingly painful when I saw how lost she became at the end. I wonder if I went too far...if this "lesson" was really just me getting back at her for her hurtful comment. I'm sure part of it probably is, but I truly think it is a little part. I am a good Mom, or at least I truly strive to be, and I sincerely want her to understand that I do what I do and ask what I ask of her not because I am mean, but because I care about her and want her to be healthy and happy. I want her, in some way, to realize that she might not have it so bad, being stuck in our crazy household, and that, all in all, being loved isn't so bad.

To be continued tomorrow...

Where did January go???

So, January flew by and now February is following suit...where does time go? Seriously?!

Although it has skated past quickly, we did manage to grab some fun this past month and celebrated some more "firsts" for the girls. Tsegereda/Rosalie had her first birthday with us, turning nine. We chose the birth date of January 18 for her as that was the day, in 2010, that we signed the adoption contract papers with our agency committing to pursue adopting the girls. It's also close to Martin Luther King's birthday, which is so very special as well. She had fun and enjoyed an ice cream cake (she LOVES ice cream) and lots of princess stuff.

In early February, Tsegereda/Rosalie finally tossed off the training wheels and gave Noah and Wyatt a run for their money on her bike. Learning to ride the bike has been very frustrating for her--her gross motor skills and balance were not strong when she first came to America. Her frustration grew to where she avoided her pretty pink bike for quite a while. We've worked on her gross motor skills with family hikes, doing Wii Fit and playing basketball, and we took off the pedals of her bike so she could work on just gliding and thus getting a sense of balance. The balance thing just never seemed to catch on. Finally, on a nice winter's day, I coaxed her outdoors, put the pedals back on, and she did it! Now she's out there every chance she gets. Our next challenge: teaching her how to BRAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (0:

Valentine's Day was another first for the girls, and once again we are all swimming in candy. I swear, America seriously is the land of sugar!!! The girls enjoyed giving and getting valentines and made sweet ones for the family. Colt and Tsegereda went on a fun "Daddy-Daughter" date put on by our church, but he had to be in Arizona (enjoying 80 degree weather, poor guy) for Valentine's Day. He just came home today to a valentine-filled home. Now we get to celebrate his birthday and reflect on how lucky we are to have him in our lives. He is an amazing father and husband and we love him dearly. Which reminds me, time to go fill some black balloons...
(0;

Rodas Reyne and her dietary habits have not changed much. She IS trying new things more readily, but doesn't seem to like anything she tries. We have added cold peas to the list of vegetables that she'll eat (making that TWO items), although she's starting to rebel and now takes an hour to eat one spoonful. I'm trying to not let it get to me, but she's still constantly asking what's for dinner and when is it snack time...then doesn't eat half the time! As I write this, she is sleeping behind me in my chair, having woken up from her nap earlier than it seems her body wanted. The first thing out of her mouth when she truly wakes up and shakes off the grumpies will be "what's the time?"--Rodas-lingo for "is it snack time yet?"

Ahhh, life with a three-year old.

Mom, I'm Hungry...

Okay, I will post some pictures and updates on how the holidays went, but first I want to comment on the newest trend in our littlest munchkin's dietary habits (or lack thereof...).

I have remained consistent and strict in my enforcement of the "eat what is served or go hungry" policy for most of the month. It has hit Rodas and Noah pretty hard. The toughest thing is that there are so few meals that ALL my family eats that rarely is there not someone eating only carrots and apple slices--or nothing at all--for dinner. I do feel that we are rounding a corner, though, in that for the past few days Rodas has been voicing her hunger. Constantly, actually. And at all times of the day...such as the other morning when she woke me up at 5 in the morning with a "MOM, I'm HUNGRY." To which I responded that breakfast would be at 6:30 and she could eat then. I reminded her later that if I didn't eat dinner the night before, then I would be hungry early as well. That's why I choose to eat my dinner, even if it is not exactly what I want. At breakfast she proceeded to eat two bites of Rice Chex (the only cereal she will eat now) and then said she was full. One hour later she was following me around saying she was hungry. Snack time is at 10 and if she doesn't eat breakfast, then I choose the snack--which is always a fruit. I finally got her to try banana and apple, both of which she spit out. But at least she tried them.

She is trying more things, and now has decided she likes my hashbrowns and fried potatoes. Before Christmas, I weighed her and she had actually lost 6 ounces from her weight at coming home...but we truly think she is getting better. It is simply exasperating--especially when she chooses to not eat and then constantly comments on her hunger or gets angry over what is served (she was soooo NOT happy about a bagel with peanut butter on it for lunch one day...). Over Christmas break I catered to their choices so food would not be such an issue, and so a little regression and anger is probably due to that.

Speaking of Christmas vacation, it was wonderful. We celebrated Christmas here, and tried not to overdo it (not my forte) so as not to overwhelm or feed the entitlement, if you will, of any of our kids. The girls enjoyed it and didn't seem too overwhelmed. We left the next day to spend a Mortenson Christmas in Salt Lake City, which was fun. We saw the Temple lights and the kids had a blast playing with all their cousins and the girls enjoyed being cuddled by their adoring aunts.

We then traveled to Grand Lake to introduce the girls to the Armstead-side of their family. They were equally doted on by them and they had a wonderful time getting to know all their cousins and aunts and uncles. It was so special that everyone was able to make the trip to meet them, and it truly felt as though the girls have always been a part of the mix. The girls went sledding and ice skating for the first time, though Tsegereda enjoyed more dancing on the ice with her Aunt Maretta as opposed to actually skating. (0:

A wonderful bit of news came in the mail today...the girls' Certificate of Citizenship! They are now documented in the federal system as U.S. Citizens Tsegereda Rosalie Mortenson and Rodas Reyne Mortenson. WAHOOOOO!


We
Are
Blessed.

To Eat or Not to Eat...

Okay, so overall things have gone well this past month. Rodas turned three (legally) and enjoyed a quiet family party. She loved getting presents and really loved her "chocolate princess" cake even though I have to say it was the absolute UGLIEST cake I have ever made. One whole side had crumbled down and my icing was too stiff. It did taste really good, but looked really bad. Luckily, she didn't have a good basis of comparison so she was happy! (0:

We enjoyed a nice Thanksgiving in Orem with my Mother-in-law's side of the family (full of many, many, many warm and welcoming family members) and the girls were a little overwhelmed at first, as anyone new usually is, but warmed up after dinner and were playing with all the big and little Steeles like pros. It was nice for them to put a face to those that we have included in our prayers. We also were able to, at the first of the month, don our snowsuits and tromp up the mountain to find our Christmas tree. Tsegereda/Rosalie LOVED the snow and it was wonderful to hear her giggles of joy as she threw snow on her brothers and slid down hills on her bottom. Rodas/Reyne napped in the car on the way up and, true to her nature, was extremely grumpy after waking up. I was hoping that the snow would cheer her up, but she became extremely upset at the inflexibility of her pretty purple snowsuit (think "A Christmas Story" where he describes his immobile, snowsuit-clad brother on the ground after the bully pushes him..."Randy lay there like a slug, it was his only defense.") and fought to take it all off--OUTSIDE in the falling snow! So, I put her back in the truck where she proceeded to cry and holler for 15 minutes. When the racket softened, I opened the door and, with the understanding that the jacket and pants stay on for her own good, she assented to coming out. She proceeded to play with sister and Noah in the snow and decided it might not be so bad. I am not so optimistic about the prospects for fun family snowshoe trips this winter, however.

The tree is now up, sparkling and beautiful--all 12 feet of it--and we decorated it as a family. The girls ask a lot about Santa and Tsegereda is incredulous at this jolly man who can do so much in one night. I am quite sure she is plotting to sneak a peek at him, so Santa better watch his step this year...

We also had the girls' first dance program. Rodas was a little scared and clung to me, but once on stage she had a ball and stole the show! Tsegereda did wonderful as well and wasn't nervous at all. Both girls enjoy dance, although Rodas gets nervous at being "left" at class and occasionally tries to get out of going. I think only time and consistency will prove to her that Mommy or Daddy will always be there to pick her up. I ALWAYS tell her that I will come back and that I'm not leaving her, she's going to her class to which I can't attend. Heaven forbid anything happens to delay our getting her someday...

I think one of the biggest issues I have struggled with this month is the continued resistance of Rodas to expand her diet. She has gained only six ounces since coming to America and that simply breaks my heart!!! She exists primarily on bread (at least it's whole wheat now) and eggs, with the occasional roasted chicken or hamburger (just bun and meat, nothing else), and carrot. She gets a small treat out of her treat bag (Halloween candy) if she eats well and eats a vegetable and fruit. She will eat one mini carrot, but refuses all fruit except occasionally a few raisins. She and Tse will tell me stories of the tomatoes, salad, meats and pastas that she ate in Ethiopia and it simply perplexes me. Her caregiver in Ethiopia, when asked to tell us something about Rodas (we hadn't met her yet), told us simply "she likes her food."

HA!

Anyways, it all just confirms to me that it is not a matter of taste but a matter of control and will power. The rule at our table used to be, you had to try what was being served before you could get something else. The "something else" was one option: cereal. Noah has always been a very picky eater as well, and when there were only two kids it wasn't that hard to give him a bowl of cereal (after he tried our meal) or even a sandwich so I was never that hard on the boy. When the girls came, I bent over backwards to get them to eat but that lasted a very short while. I hate to cook and seriously took issue with the demanding manners that the girls first came with, so I tried to toughen up the food rules. After continually having them wrinkle their noses and tell me they didn't like something, without even trying it--pushing it away and settling for just a slice of bread for dinner (I always tried to include one thing, bread, that I knew they'd eat)--I was at my wits end. Rodas even picked apart and only half-ate my Ethiopian dishes that Tse said were very good and just like in Ethiopia. I eventually pulled the bread, but then Rodas just went without eating anything, numerous times.

Breakfast was another fight--for the two boys it has never been tough--cereal, cereal or cereal. The girls don't do cereal (Cheerios was big for a short stint and now will not be touched) and love to short-order eggs with toast/bread on the side (nothing added to the eggs except salt and not too many chunks of white or you hear lots of complaining and "I don't like the white, Mom!"). My tradition has been to cook hot breakfast on the weekend and cereal for school days (it's faster) so cooking eggs, although truly not that difficult, still adds some more chaos to the normal morning rush.

Last week I'd finally had it. I was grumpy and tired of all the demanding and feeling like a short-order cook who only hears complaints about what's cooked and throwing half the food away, uneaten. Colt and I talked about it and he said, why give any option other than what's on the table? We didn't have that growing up. I didn't, but I honestly thought Colt did because he is, well, a picky eater. He doesn't ever complain about what I cook, but I know most of his "food rules" and have always tended to cook around his likes and dislikes. He proceeded to tell me he often went without food for dinner and it didn't hurt him. I'm a pretty tough Mommy, but there's just something in me that hates the idea of my babies going to bed hungry. Especially when I'm sure those babies have been seriously hungry--to the point of near malnourishment--before. Now, Tse tells me they always had plenty of food in Ethiopia, but when you look at their pictures from when they first came to the orphanage, Tse had sunken cheeks and was seriously gaunt and Rodas had huge eyes that just echoed with need. Tse's transformation while in the orphanage and even more since coming home has proven to me her prior lack of adequate nutrition.

The jury's still out on Rodas.

So, we're trying the new rule and it's actually working pretty well. Rodas is still often choosing to go without dinner, but this morning she tried french toast for the first time (she ate it with us in Et but would never try mine). Our nurse had told us to let hunger drive her, and I thought I was doing so...but I wasn't. I have talked with her about embracing the fact that she is now American and that that doesn't mean she must let go of her Ethiopian roots, but that she can embrace both (i.e., eating American doesn't mean she's betraying Ethiopia), but I'm not sure she understood. So, we'll see if the hard-line works. Keep your fingers crossed.

Seriously? They Just GIVE You Candy????

Okay, so I've been swamped and haven't had the time to get to the blog. This past month has seen two of my babies turn a year older (and one birthday party to plan and execute), one choose to become baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (and one baptism luncheon to plan and execute), Halloween and all the craziness that that entails, two boys starting Karate and two girls starting dance classes, and one boy starting Boy Scouts. We also experienced the girls' first fishing trip on a boat, a day with the cows on the mountain, and a fleeting snowfall, which only got the girls even more excited for the day when it would actually stay on the ground!

They've been home nearly five months and I can't believe the growth in our whole family. Wyatt and Tsegereda joke and fight like true brother and sister. Overall they get along great and do so very well together. Tsegereda has become very grateful and often writes sweet notes of thanks and love, drawing wonderful pictures of the whole family (I dig my long, straight orange pig-tails that she always adorns me with). Rodas likes to mimic her big brother Noah, the brother that I have advised her NOT to follow, so now I have two children jumping on the couch and usually doing the opposite of what I have asked...the difference is that Noah usually just gets side-tracked on his journey to comply and he seems to want to do good but the little devil on his shoulder usually wins. Rodas simply delights in opposition! (0;

My sweet, little oppositional girl and myself have taken one big step forward this month, though. A few weeks ago, after my tolerance was reached with her constantly saying "no" to literally everything I said--even comments I made about myself (Me: "I'm hungry" Rodas: "NOOOOOO!"), I finally blew a gasket. She was throwing a fit over a piece of gum...I think it was that I wouldn't give it to her because it was just before nap...and I just lost it. I ranted about how we were all trying so hard and how it was frustrating constantly hearing "no" from her and having her fight everything I did. She had a little Princess parasol and I remember her popping it open and placing it between us, as if to make the words just bounce off the top of it so they wouldn't reach her ears (usually she just puts her hands over her ears when she doesn't want to hear what you have to say). I told her that I loved her but was tired of her spiteful behavior...then I walked away from her. As I walked into my bedroom, I reminded myself that I was doing the opposite of what I should be doing. I counted to ten then walked back out into the hall. She wasn't there, but I found her standing in her room, sad and mad. I took the parasol out of her hands and picked her up, hugging her fiercely. It was not what she expected. I told her that I loved her and that I was not going to leave her. We both cried, and while crying I noticed that I was rocking her and she wasn't stopping me.

Since then, she has let me sway to the "Momma beat" when holding her. She still is a stinker a lot (as am I), but I think we had a bit of a break-through and can hopefully keep building on that.

At the beginning of the month, we enjoyed Ethiopia Night in Salt Lake City, and the girls loved hearing and seeing some familiar sights and sounds. The boys had a ball and we finally got them all up dancing.

Halloween was a fun experience, with the girls disbelieving that there actually was a holiday that centered around people just giving you candy. Yeah right! They kept practicing saying "trick or treat" the weeks before so that they would get it just right! Of course they learned the "smell my feet" version as well (from Noah), but were quick to tell me they'd only say it at home because if they said it at a house then there'd be noooooo treat! (0: It was a soggy Halloween for us, but they all had fun and the girls now believe that America is the land of SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, here are some more pictures from the past month: