One year ago this month, this was the only way I could show love to my new little girl. Now I am blessed to be able to hug her every day. I can't forget that...
I awakened this morning at 5:30 to the pitter patter of tiny feet running to the bathroom. I peeked in to find her perched on the toilet. Wary that it was already too late, I was pleasantly surprised to find that she had woken up and made it on time. That rarely happens when she doesn't empty her bowels before bed, so I'm truly thanking my guardian mommy angels!
I sent her back to bed and she slept until 7:00 (another miracle). When she was up for good, I asked her if she wanted me to be Good Mom or Bad Mom. She mumbled something that sounded like Good Mom, and when asked to speak up she wouldn't. I asked her if she liked how I acted yesterday and she shook her head "no." I asked her again who she wanted me to be and she very quietly but more clearly stated "Good Mom." I gave her a hug and she proceeded to say "ow" and cry, acting as though her lip had been hurt badly by my shoulder. I knew she was not hurt but was trying to find an outlet for her anger at having had to ask for Good Mom back. She often does this--making a tiny touch or brush of skin seem like someone was intentionally causing her mortal harm. She usually does it to try to turn the emotional tables on you. I set her down and told her that I loved her, I was sorry she hurt her lip on my shoulder when I hugged her, and that I would continue to work to be a Good Mom to her. BUT, I also said to her, YOU need to also continue to work to be a Good Daughter. Love and Family are not one-way streets.
So far the day has gone pretty well. She's now waking from a loooooooong nap to recoup from yesterday, and I'm blogged out. I hope that she learned something from this...I know that I have. I also know that motherhood is seriously the toughest job I'll ever love.
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