The Balancing Act

I think we are entering into a new phase...the balancing act. The boys have started to whine about the extra attention that the girls are receiving, and when my attention is on the boys, the girls (usually Tse) will try to divert my attention back to her. It was noticeable at soccer camp when I was trying to video Wyatt's scrimages and Tse would constantly pull my arms and want me to video her instead. It was also noticeable on Saturday when we went to Huntington Reservoir to watch Dad and Wyatt do the San Rafael Triathalon...(which, by the way, my boys did AWESOME!!! Will toot their horns a little later...)...we got up at dawn and the moment my attention was focused on Colt and Wyatt, Tse started whining and complaining of stomach pains. She usually lets me know about every little twitch and itch she has so I wasn't too worried, but then when Colt entered the water to start the race, she really started grimacing and doubling over. She has begun to take a liking to burrito's, and had eaten TWO the previous day for lunch and I thought maybe it was revenge of the beans. Knowing gas pains can feel pretty nasty, I took her to the bathroom to try to "release" the pain. No go. I honestly felt she was probably fine, but there's always that nagging voice in the back of your mind...what if....

Colt was coming in on his bike and she had almost had tears in her eyes. Colt set off on his run and we tried the bathroom once more. Nope. Colt finished the race (FIFTH overall and FIRST in the Clydesdale division--way to go, Honey!!!) and BAM! All better! She laughed and showed me how when she moved the waistband of her pants (stretch elastic and definitely not too tight) lower she didn't hurt anymore. I mentally threw my hands up!

How will I ever know if she is truly in pain and in need of a doctor when she blows things out of proportion like this??? Arghhh.

The root of it all: insecurity. I know this, and try not to let it get to me. Silver still does it, with his clinginess and the fact that anytime I pet Sage he immediately wiggles in between us and demands attention. He's been home over a year. The thing is, it doesn't bother Sage, but it does bother Wyatt that his sister does it. So, I have to figure out ways to steal time to play a game with just Wyatt or have a chat with him, minus the sisters, so that he can feel secure as well. Noah needs it as well, and trying to give each one-on-one time AND get laundry done, meals cooked, etc., well, it's tough. It's not easy and I know that Wyatt and Noah truly don't understand the need their sisters have of reassuring themselves of us. I know that both sides are not seeing the attention they DO get but only what is not directed their way. It is frustrating as I constantly feel pulled and know that ALL sides are insecure and need the attention as reassurance. I'm not the best juggler, so I really hope I don't let one of these balls fall!!!

As for the Triathalon, I just have to mention how well my boys did because I am so darn proud of both of them!!! As I said above, Colt was FIFTH overall and First in the Clydesdale Division (men 200 lbs. and above) and SECOND in his age class. What a stud, eh? I wasn't so sure Wyatt was ready for a Junior Triathalon (kids up to 17 yrs. old) yet as his swimming is not that strong, but Colt thought he was ready to see what it was about, so we let him do it. He did much better than I expected (I don't like to think of myself as a pessimist, just a realist, and I simply REALLY didn't want to see my baby's feelings hurt by being one of the last ones out of the water...). He was the 29th one out of the water (out of 37 kids racing) and about the same off his bike. When he hit the pavement, my boy FLEW!!!!!! He finished 20th overall, with the THIRD fastest running time!!!!! Wahoo!!!! What's even more....he LOVED it! So much so that he and Dad registered to do the Scofield Triathalon this Saturday! IF you're around the area then, come by and see my dynamic duo strut their stuff!Take a look at some pics from this fun day...