On African Thyme: January 2013

So here we are, January is almost over...can you believe it? I'm still a bit shell-shocked over the fact that it is 2013! I look back over the past month and see it so packed full of things, yet how did that added weight not slow the time down? How is it that the older and grayer I get, the faster time slips by? Now that I know better how valuable each second is, why does it seem to sift through my fingers so much faster?

It's not fair.
Yet, it is what it is.

I mentioned before about doing a post on raising our children LDS (Mormon), when I am not a member of the Church. Since I am at home with a sick Noah while Colt is at Church with the rest of the kids, the theme of religion seems appropriate for the day. Before we were married, Colt and I discussed raising our children in a religion. Colt is a very devout Mormon, but holds it close to himself. He does not deny or hide his Church, but has often endured many a scathing anti-Mormon comment from the very non-Mormon world he works in. In marrying me, he risked many things that loved ones expected or hoped for him (such as marrying another member and being sealed in the Temple)--but he had also established, long before I ever came into the picture, that the path of his religion would be one of his own making. While all of his brothers completed missions abroad, Colt went through a different rites of passage fighting the monstrous Yellowstone Fires. So much like his father, I can't help but see other ways that Val left his unique brand of religion on Colt. Colt has mentioned before that where his mother was very traditionally devout, his father would often spend a Sunday in the mountains--claiming he figured God was there as well as in the church house. With Colt being on fires for 21 days at a stretch, church became something that he had to carry inside of him as it often wasn't an option to take a Sunday off in the middle of a hitch and head to church. There were times when he was able to have a make-shift sacrament meeting with fellow LDS co-workers on a fire, but such occasions were rare.

My experience with the LDS church had been pretty black and white until I met Colt. A dear childhood friend of mine growing up was LDS, but we were so young that religion didn't enter our thoughts or friendship. We grew apart as we grew older, so I remained relatively ignorant of the LDS Church. When I moved to Utah to work in Dutch John, a prominent LDS family there stirred in me a strong bias against the Church through their arrogance and extreme "thriftiness." This was not second-hand knowledge--I felt their condescension clearly and perfectly and it left a very bitter taste in my mouth for the religion from which their loftiness flowed.

Soon after meeting Colt and his amazing family--and many others that were LDS--it became obvious that I couldn't paint the lot of them with the same brush as I had before. The Mortenson's and the Steele's (Coreyne's family) and so many other dear LDS friends are such good people. Truly good people--that serve others without a second thought or hint of begrudging. Colt taught me about his Mormon Church, from the point of view of one who has looked at his own Church from the outside-in a time or two. There were, and still are, beliefs of the Church that I have a hard time with and feel I will likely never accept, BUT I admired so many more things about the Church. The focus on family, service, agency and seeking the good in all things. The emphasis on CTR--Choosing The Right way to live. I wanted my children to have the stability, the solidness of character, that the Mortenson boys have.

In the swamp of cliques, peer pressure, needles and bongs that loom in our children's future, I wanted them to have something to hold onto to help them stay strong and wade through the muck without being dragged down into the mire. It is so hard out there...it was rough when I was a teenager, and I wasn't one to bow to peer pressure (just the opposite, in fact), but today, this day, it is a battleground. The fact that pot is now legal scares the heck out of me! My children will likely be bombarded with some offer to do drugs, smoke a cigarette or drink beer before they're even out of elementary school! Is that not scary or what!?

So, I agreed that we should raise the children in the Church. I wanted them to have that iron rod to grab onto. Perhaps it is a bit hypocritical, raising my children in a Church I don't fully believe in. However, there is no other Church that I believe more in. And I will do all that I can to give my children every tool possible to get through this world successfully. I take the children to Church whether Colt is with us or not. I read scriptures with them every night. We say our prayers. We go to Scouts and Activity Days. I do not do things half-way, and if we have decided to raise them in the Church, then they need to KNOW the Church.

My one caveat is that I do not shield my questions or doubt from them. I want them to have faith but I also want them to have their agency and choose to believe what is right for them...how can they choose to be a member, or not a member, if they don't know everything they can about what their supposed to be believing?

So, by raising our children in the Church we are giving them a spiritual law to hold onto, to be bound to...a reason to say "no" when they might otherwise be unsure. But they also have a foundation from which to build--or rebuild--as they grow into adults. They will hopefully know that it is okay to question--to search inside for the truth--and find your own faith, as their parents have done. The LDS Church is the belief that guides their father and is what we want them to hold onto until they are strong enough to find their own, should it be different. They will be loved and accepted no matter what path they decide to follow.