What's In A Name?

The kids and I drove to the courthouse yesterday to receive two pieces of paper that are some of the last pieces in the puzzle that is becoming the girls' new life: the signed adoption registration recording our adoption of them in Utah and legally changing their names. Without any given last names, the Ethiopian government gave them the names Tsigereda William Mortenson and Rodas William Mortenson on their new Ethiopian birth certificates and passports, following the Ethiopian tradition where children take the name of their father for their middle name. Their names now legally read Tsegereda Rosalie Mortenson and Rodas Reyne Mortenson.

Big deal to Mom and Dad; received a simple set of lifted eyebrows from the girls. (0:

Although she is known around the house as Tsegereda (we tried Rosalie, but she is, and probably always will be, our Tsegereda, so that's what comes out the most), SHE has chosen to be called Rosalie at school and in the community. The name Rosalie was chosen by her, from a list of five or so names that Colt and I gave her. We had picked out a different name for her initially, when we thought she would be closer to 6 or 7, but when she turned out to be 8...well, I suggested that she just might want a say in the matter. She chose another name first, because she knew Daddy liked it, then chose another name a few days later...the one that I knew she was partial to: Rosalie. Tsegereda means "rose" in Amharic and so I suppose Rosalie is a bridge between her Ethiopian roots and new American life.

Rodas is stuck with our choice of a name...Reine means "queen" in French and since we had nicknamed her Queen Ro from the first, it seemed appropriate. Noah actually suggested it first, as we were driving to WalMart one day and discussing names for the girls. He said, "Mom, what about Rain?" I thought of the French meaning and said I loved it...and we all voted later on it and it was unanimous. Noah is so proud of his contribution, and still thinks she's named after really neat weather. The name fits her well. Though we usually call her Rodas, she is often affectionately called "Reyne or Reynie" and she seems to love it. Whether referring to her royal attitude or stormy nature (maybe we can think of it as "blessings from above"?), it is our thumbprint on her life...our way of sharing in the creation of who she is and what she will be known as.

You never think about naming a child already out of diapers, and I would hazard that it is harder than naming a faceless baby that has yet to reveal his or her personality or whims. But in our case, I think and hope we chose right.

A name is so much more than what people call you...

A World of Many Firsts...

First of all, let me shout to the roof tops...

RODAS JUST COMPLETED THE REQUIRED 14 DAYS OF MEDICINE...AND WE'RE DONE!!!! No More GIARDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yippee. Seriously. YIPPPPEEEEE! I am so tired of cleaning toilets and hands like a madwoman that I want to weep with relief. Most of all, I am so happy that my sweet and ornery little toddler doesn't have to live with her stomach hurting all the time because of a nasty bug she's probably lived all her life with in Ethiopia. In case you are wondering, we were able to find a compounding pharmacy to make a special liquid mix of her medicine (metronidazole) that was tolerable--especially when followed by a piece of bubble gum or M&M. Dad did the first dose while Mom hid in the next room (My little Reynie tends to like to do the opposite if she knows it's something Mom REALLY wants) and since then she has taken it three times per day for fourteen days. She's threatened to stop, but she really wants to go swimming and she knows she can't until "no more Giardia" so she persevered.

YES!

So, tomorrow we embark on another "First" for the girls: swimming at the big pool! This new adventure (I guess that's what you'd call me trying to keep from drowning two fearless girls pretending to be Ariel and a Noah, who seems to think that completing Level 1 swim class qualifies him to be a lifeguard!) got me thinking about all the other firsts they've had since coming home...and the many that still lie ahead of them! There are too many to name and it has got to be so overwhelming. Sometimes I forget to remember that and to think about how things look from their point-of-view. Case in point, this past weekend we took our first camping trip when I took the kids to Colt's family reunion outside of Vernal. The concept of camping was beyond them and they couldn't understand how Grandma would be sleeping there too, while her house was staying in Vernal. When we got there, they did just fine and Tsegereda enjoyed her first horseback ride with the only person she would allow to lead her (her aunt with the glorious auburn tresses) and Rodas her first trip on a four-wheeler (five feet) with another sweet Aunt (who has the softest hair that she couldn't stop petting) and they both spent their first night in a sleeping bag. There were a few bumps and a little bit of sugar and stimulation overload, but for the most part they did very well. They had fun, which I guess is truly what matters in the end. And the boys felt like they finally got to do something fun and normal in a summer that has been not-so-normal.
Colt's family was wonderful with the girls and their aunts and uncles and numerous boy cousins and sole girl cousin made them feel so very welcome and comfortable. Knowing how well they did with this short stint, I am excited for them to meet the Armstead clan as well! Hey, we at least have TWO girl cousins on that side! (0;


So, with some more firsts under their belt, the girls are slightly more than a week away from what might possibly be one of the hardest firsts that they will have to deal with: being apart from each other for extended periods of time while Tsegereda goes to school. She is still nervous about going, but is trying to be positive about it. Mommy School is helping, I think, but it does nothing to prepare her for something that I'm not sure she has totally realized yet...the fact that her constant companion for the past three or more years is not going to be by her side while she braves a frontier that terrifies her. My wonderful Mother will be coming to stay for the first couple weeks of school so that I can spend extra time with Tse in class if needed, so hopefully that will help ease the fear and separation anxiety...but it is still going to be something that they both will have to face. I know it is for their good in the long run, but it is heartbreaking knowing the pain that they will likely face. However, Rodas will have a captive audience (her favorite) in Mom and Tsegereda might just find school to be not such a bad place.

I guess we just will have to wait and see.

So many firsts...

Week 435

I just survived one week with Colt gone...and it seriously felt like a looooooooot longer than seven days!!!!

BUT the key word is SURVIVED!

I did it.

Yes, I nearly pulled all my hair out and Rodas got to sleep at the table with me on the floor beside her for one night....but we ALL survived. Period.

Okay, so it really wasn't that bad, but it was tough. I had the single parent routine with the boys down pat so that when Colt left on fires, it barely created a ripple in their day to day life other than the obvious void that a wonderful father leaves (morning hugs, night-time wrestling sessions, TV or cookies when Mom's not looking...). This was the first time Colt has been gone for more than a couple of days at a time and it was a juggling act at first and included a number of late nights trying to get to the laundry, dishes, garden and sometimes even the email. Since the girls came home, Colt has really stepped it up to help out around the house, and now when he is gone I really feel the weight of it.

The week also included Wyatt's first swimming meet (he swam the 25m freestyle and did great!) during which three bored siblings constantly wondered when the three-hour meet in the stinky, hot indoor swimming pool would be over. It also included the week Rodas needed to start a particularly yucky tasting medicine, which she would not take in any form it was handed to her. I tried fun, I tried subtle, I tried CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM (which actually did a really good job of hiding the ickiness), but no go. Thus the night at the kitchen table (I have a rule that I always follow through on a consequence I lay down...I thought it would work with her and we'd escape the consequence but it didn't. So, we both slept at the table and I will not make that a consequence again...BUT, she now truly knows Mommy doesn't back down...and Mommy knows that neither does she...argh!). Anyways, lest you think I am a mean Mommy--it is a very important medication that she must take and when she wouldn't take it in the chocolate ice cream--which I KNOW did not taste too bad--then I knew she was making it into a control thing and this is something we can't budge on. We are currently in the search for a liquid form of the medication, which I am pretty sure will still end up with Colt and I forcing down her throat with a tube...something I am horrified to do as I DO NOT want us to in any way be viewed by her as a physical threat.

Please, please drink your medicine little one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It also included a number of days where Tsegereda constantly voiced her decision NOT to go to school, thus prompting her little sister to do the same. Being told that school is not a choice was not received well. I feel for her as I truly understand how the idea of school can be so daunting to a young girl from another land and language. As she put it once, "Mommy, at school everyone English, only Tsegereda Tigrinya!"

So, we started Mommy School in order to help Tse feel more comfortable with some of the terms and concepts that she will be expected to know in Second Grade. It has been a good refresher for Wyatt and Noah as well. Tse is very bright, but there are gaps in her learning that are going to be difficult to bridge. She is going to have a wonderful teacher this year, and Wyatt will hopefully be in her class to help. But I know we will also have to work extra hard at home to catch her up. The biggest hurdle will be to help build her confidence enough so that when she gets frustrated she learns to forge ahead instead of shutdown, which is her current way of dealing with it. I am a bit torn because I honestly feel the best thing for her would be to delay school for a few months, get her a tutor to help with her English and the gaps in her reading and math skills, and then put her in school. She would be more confident, as her communication skills seem to be her biggest worry, and she would not get so frustrated thus would be more open to learning. She loves doing the school work and is now saying "yes" to school...but I fear the first day at school might be overwhelming and turn her back the other way (is that pessimism or realism?).

I could homeschool, but Colt and I also feel that school and being with her peers will teach her the social skills she needs and provide her (hopefully) with friends and an even better grasp of English. I am also not sure that I could teach her what and how she needs to be taught, thus my dream for a tutor (oh, Sharina, why did you have to MOVE!!!!!) (0:

So, maybe the answer to what is right might come this month as the countdown to school is down to less than a month.


But for now, right this minute, I am grateful that my husband arrived home safe and sound from fires far away and I am grateful for my wonderful children that make every day an interesting voyage.